The Been Briefing

Letting Go

I think it would be a good idea for me to sit down and write, but I confess I'm not really sure how I should put all my thoughts down in such a way that it would be coherent and/or beneficial to those of you who actually read my blog. There is so much going on in my head right now!

Right now the apartment is quiet. Jody is reading a book for his Old Testament class, Eu-mi is curled up on the back of the couch sleeping, and I am baking some more chocolate chip cookies (more on them later!) so there will be desserts the rest of the week.

Has the Lord ever given you a message in several different ways... on several different occasions, until you wanted to put your hands up in surrender to heaven and say, "Ok, Lord! I get it!" and truly give up? I feel like I'm in one of those places right now.

On Friday night a friend of mine, Sarah, invited me to attend an event that was held at Southeast. Sheila Walsh was the guest speaker, and her main message that night was on forgiveness. She shared a recent event in her family's life in which she was required to forgive her husband an enormous list of offenses. One thing she said that struck me was, "Forgiveness is God's gift to you..." I don't remember the latter half of that sentence, but it has stuck with me the past few days as I have mulled over the power of forgiveness, and how it really is a spiritual transaction that requires 100% of God's grace. I know there are many times where I choose to forgive someone with all of my will, but the heart transaction that takes place, where I truly extend 100% grace to someone and basically can say "You don't owe me anything anymore"... and my heart is truly free of any pain or offense in my heart - that is a transaction that requires the Lord. I am praying God calls to mind people I need to forgive, because I know I need to let go and get free. I want to be able to say about each and every person or situation that I have released them and they owe me no debt, because the Lord does not hold me accountable for my own sins (Matthew 18).

Also, I have been studying Beth Moore's Bible study on the book of Esther. On Saturday the girls in our Bible study watched session 6 together. In it, Beth's main point was that God is in control, and we do not have to figure out the 'how' of our lives. What a basic principle, and yet how powerfully it hit me.

The past few weeks have been really stressful for Jody and me, as we have been trying to figure out what will happen next year concerning Jody's school. How are we going to pay for it? The second stressful situation has been the hunt for a second car. Jody's Toyota has been a champ, but I take it every day to work, and so Jody is left to get to school no matter the weather. And while many say that Colorado is the place of 300 sunny days, we have yet to experience that. There has been so much rain, snow, sleet and general stormy weather, that I am eager for him to not have to rely on his bicycle or motorcycle in the elements. Both of these situations have been challenging and kept me on my knees. I confess I have been playing the "if we do this, then this will happen" game, looking at all the various options and playing them out in my head. All in all, it has been exhausting, and I know why God calls me to let go and let Him handle it.... I certainly can't!

The good news is, (PRAISE THE LORD!), that we qualified for loans that will pay for his classes in the spring. Fall of 2010, I do not know yet, but one step at a time. God is good, and I am thankful for this provision. As for a car, we are still hunting and praying for the right one. Please pray for God to provide the perfect vehicle for us. The potential plan is that Jody will slow down classes a little and work part-time on the side. We'll see what happens. Again, I am constantly challenging myself to just let go. It is in the Lord's hands, and I don't need to figure out the 'how' of life.

Amidst the stress, I am also challenging myself to take pleasure and joy in the little things of life. For example, I love making chocolate chip cookies. In fact, I have a recipe that I tweaked from one given by my dear friend Britt, and now I love it, make it almost weekly and love giving to friends to cheer them up. So here you see them in the process:

I love these cookies, and I'm so thankful for the joy that they bring to other people. :)

Another blessing came in the mail the other day... a package from my Mom! In it she gave us a flashlight (!!!! You have no idea how much we needed one!), as well as cloth napkins and placemats. I was thrilled! I have been eyeing things at TARGET for months, really, but could never justify the purchase. I have to say my heart jumped for joy when I saw them. Surely the Lord sees our situation and knows what is going on. If He can see that we needed a flashlight, and that I have been wanting silly cloth napkins and placemats, then surely He knows our greater needs and desires. I take comfort in this gift, and I praise God in faith, knowing that "The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears, And delivers them out of all their troubles" (Psalm 34, 16-18).

Please notice Jody's amazing napkin-folding skills!


Thank you so much, Mommie, for your wonderful gift. I has encouraged me so much!