Grammie

I have not blogged in months, but something really big happened last month that is forefront in my thoughts. On October 28th at 91 years young Grammie, my mom's mom, went to be with Jesus.

This summer Grammie had major surgery to remove a cancerous mass. The surgery was intense, but like so many times before, Grammie rallied like a champ and was back out and about post-op. When my sister Sarah and her hubby Justin went down to Aiken, SC to visit Grammie and Grandy and our Aiken family, she was going out with them. Sarah caught this incredible picture of Grammie during that visit. Now I know where I get that sweet tooth from! (And who cares about portion control! Right, Grammie?!)

We all heard that post-operation that the cancer had come back, but because Grammie rallied so well, we began to think that it was slow-moving, and that there would be more time. I was mentally planning that Jody and I could make a trip down to South Carolina sometime in the spring. After all, Jody has not been to Aiken yet.

But then my sister Sarah called me on Tuesday, October 21 to tell me that Grammie had gone to the doctor. There, Grammie learned that the cancer had come back. In just a few months a new mass had grown larger than the one the doctors removed a few months ago. There was nothing they could do. Mommy drove down to South Carolina immediately, and I booked a ticket for Friday, the 24th. I'm so glad I did.

Grandy and Mommy picked me up at the Augusta Airport, and I got to spend Friday through Tuesday with Grammie and everyone right at Grammie and Grandy's home. Though weak, Grammie - ever the extroverted social butterfly - loved having all the people in the house. It was a party! My cousins Betsy and Laura came with their kids, so we got to see some Halloween costumes on display. Even Laura's dog Gizzie was a "Rufferee" for the holiday. Hilarious! It was my first time seeing both of Betsy's kids. Caroline was 18 months, and little Patrick couldn't have been more than 2 or 3 months old, so poor Betsy and Jeffrey were quite swamped with their little ones. Nonetheless, it was a joy to see my cousins and their families despite the sadness of the occasion.

It was so precious for me to be able to see Grammie all the time, since she was at the house and not at the hospital. We could all pop in and out of the front room to see her, say good morning or goodnight. I will never forget taking communion on Sunday as a family around her bed. Or all the wonderful conversations with all my various family members over the course of those few days.

I loved being near Grandy, too. My wonderful grandfather would come into my bedroom around 8AM and wake me up, telling me that breakfast was almost ready. :) I'd shower and get myself together and then walk into the kitchen, where he had set out a lovely little breakfast spread. We'd chat over our breakfast meal. Sometimes Mom would join us. It was a treasured time. I miss you, Grandy!!

Uncle Peter and Aunt Lynn took us down the street where they are building their home. The floorplan is on the same site as the house that Lynn grew up in. It was incredible to see, and I'm already hoping we can reserve a room for a visit! :) We also got to give Grammie a virtual tour of the house. Scott took his phone through, and I held Mom's iPad so Grammie could see it all. It was so great!

And then Mommy took me on a walk down memory lane. Aiken, SC is horse country, as many articles express in glowing terms (like this one here). Just a few streets from her house are the incredible homes of the wealthy in Aiken, the polo field, the jump and dressage arenas, the dirt streets where the equestrian community walks and stables their horses, and so many beautiful horses out in the paddocks. Mommy showed me where she used to hang out and watch the horses just like she showed me in this picture. I can just imagine her as a little girl, climbing on the fence or up the magnolia trees to see the wealthy socialites playing polo. So fun!

My Aunt Lynn took me to downtown Aiken and to St. Thaddeus to see Grammie and Grandy's church. This is where my mom and dad were married in 1977, and this is where Grammie is now buried. A beautiful church. I got to walk through the cemetery and see the work that Grandy has done for many, many years, overseeing the finances for the care of the beautiful bit of land. It was so peaceful. Well done, Grandy. Well, done.

Several of my own siblings came. I got to see Rebekah and Bryan, Daniel and Courtney, Luke, Nate and Anna. The last time I got to see them was at Nate and Anna's wedding last December. Has it really been that long? I FaceTimed with Daddy and Josh and Sarah and Justin, and I know Chris FaceTimed in, as well. Amidst the sadness of the trip, I treasured every moment of getting to see my family. How I miss and love them! 

The hardest part of this trip to Aiken was knowing it was going to end and that Grammie was leaving us. She was so strong to the end, full of peace and joy. I could not help but marvel at her. Four hours after I left their house in Aiken, and while I was waiting in the Charlotte airport to board my flight for Milwaukee, Grammie went to be with Jesus. It was Tuesday, October 28th in the evening, and she was surrounded by family who love her so much. She was 91 years old and had been married to Grandy for 68 years. But - most importantly - she had put her faith and trust in Jesus Christ for salvation and knew that the best is yet to come. What an incredible woman.

Grammie & Grandy w/ their 3 kids (L-R) Kathy, Mom, Pete

I'm going to miss you, Grammie. So grateful for your example of love, faithfulness and courage. And I cannot wait to see you again. I hold fast to the promise that this life is but a breath, and eternity is ahead. So very grateful for this hope!

Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Saying Goodbye is Hard

Saying goodbye is hard. As I type this I'm having the hardest time keeping my eyes open simply because they are tired from crying. After cleaning up the house after work and taking Jody some dinner, while he wraps up a final evening of painting/refinishing furniture at ReNew, I thought about going to the gym and then decided not to. I just don't have the energy. I just want to sleep for a long, long time. This whole business of saying goodbye is just plain hard. And we still have two and a half more weeks until we leave!

God has been faithful in this process of transition. So many answered prayers already! We have found a place to live in Oconomowoc. We have sold the Toyota and bought a Jeep that can make the cross-country trek. For both Jody and me, the last day at our jobs is Thursday. We have even gotten a deposit for the chickens, their coop and their supplies. Today I boxed up everything at my desk. Even my plant.

At work today we had root beer floats for my official "goodbye party" at Southeast. It was a small moment in time to acknowledge the transition, and I am grateful I had the chance to tell everyone how much I love them and how much I'm going to miss them. I cried. Steve cried. We're just an emotional mess in the Missions Department. But that's a whole different blog post.

There's one plus to the grievous business of goodbye-saying: I am getting treated to more meals out than ever in my life!

On second thought... maybe I should go to the gym after all. :)

My cousin Ian

The past few weeks have been a blur. Two weeks ago today, my cousin Ian went to be with Jesus. He was driving in a neighborhood near his home in Virginia Beach, and his car hit a tree. It was a tragic accident that has left our family in shock. He was 19 years old and one of the coolest kids I know. So full of faith in Jesus. So full of love. When you were with Ian, you really did feel special. I am reminded of a day last summer when we got to connect here in Colorado. We grabbed breakfast and talked non-stop for 3-4 hours. So.much.fun. And then, last fall at Sarah and Justin's wedding, we chatted for hours. I'm going to miss you, Ian. 

Jody and I were able to fly back to Virginia for his memorial service, which was last Thursday. I am so grateful. We were able to collectively honor Ian. His service was so focused on God, and during the service one of the clearest and most balanced explanations of the Gospel and salvation was given. We were able to see family members we haven't seen in years. It was so worth the travel.

Throughout this whole time, a few truths have sustained me. For one, we do not grieve as those who have no hope. While we have lost Ian, we have confidence that he is with the Lord. There is no doubt that Ian loved and knew Jesus, and that now he is with Him in eternity. His diabetes truly is healed. This verse has been forefront in my mind and thoughts throughout:

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died." - 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14

And then, I have also been meditating on something my sister, Anna wrote. She said,

 "Yesterday, I lost my amazing cousin, Ian due to a horrific car crash. As we were in the hospital together praying through it all- friends, family, and pastors alike, I couldn't help but feel God's presence in the chaos and uncertainty. But now that I think about it, you actually died a long time ago. The moment you accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior- you died to yourself and you would live forever and ever. We just didn't expect you to go so soon. Now you and Grandma Etta and Pop are partying it up with Jesus. Keep smiling that handsome smile! We all love you and miss you already."

It's so true. We are already dead. Dead to sin, but alive in Christ. Romans, chapter 6. I am so grateful that Jesus conquered death and the grave, and we can face eternity with confidence.

At Ian's memorial service we sang a great song by Hillsong, called 'I Will Rise'. Incredible. So worth listening to.

Ian, I'm going to miss you. But I know you're with Jesus. Have a blast. We'll see you soon! 

Brad

Early, early this past Tuesday morning, January 25, 2011 my wonderful brother-in-law Brad Been went to be with the Lord. Many of you have been praying for our family through this process, and I wanted to thank each and every one of you who have been part of the support network in this time of crisis.

Brad discovered he had colon cancer almost 6 years ago. He beat it and was in remission for several years. The summer of 2009 he discovered, however, that it had returned but had spread to his whole abdominal cavity. He took a risk and decided to apply for a surgery in Pittsburgh. He was approved for it, and he and his wife Lindsey went to Pennsylvania for the surgery in August of 2009. We all thought that he'd beat it again, and though he had to adjust his diet a great deal and seemed a bit more fragile, we were thankful for every chance we had to be with him. Then, this past October 2010, we heard the news that the cancer had returned once again, and that Brad had decided to stop fighting it.

Christmastime was a wonderful time to see him and Lindsey, but we realized that there might not be much time left. Jody decided to see if Denver Seminary would work with him and allow him to do classes long-distance. He got 5 credits approved and after a week of getting things in order, he returned once again to Texas.

I am so thankful that in the few weeks Jody had with Brad, they were able to talk about hard stuff, deal with the finality of death and the importance of surrendering to the Lord despite all the hang-ups we all have about life, suffering and death. In the end, Brad surrendered to the Lord and was able to pass into eternity with his wonderful wife Lindsey and his brother Jody right next to him.

Please continue to pray for all of us as we grieve. I have returned to CO to get back to work, but Jody will remain in TX as long as he feels he needs to.

Love,
Jody and Ruth

The Countdown Begins...

The past month and a half have been extremely stressful for the Been household. Almost daily Jody and I are reeling from some new bit of frustrating infromation. And yet, there have been wonderful moments of victory intermingled, where we can see that God's hand still remains on us and is carefully guiding us amidst all the pressures.

The biggest grief as of late came almost two weeks ago. My wonderful grandmother, Henrietta Clementson, went home to be with her Lord on July 24. She lived a wonderful 86 years and was able to see four grandchildren get married and three great-grandchildren enter the world. I am so thankful for the rich heritage I have had in her life. She was a powerful woman who was unashamed of Jesus Christ, and for that alone I honor her. I will miss her dearly.

About two weeks ago, also, Jody and I decided that we would return home to the States a little earlier than planned. My constant struggle with laryngitis compounds the stresses of life in Korea, and amidst all the challenges of the past few months, we felt it best to leave sooner rather than later. We will be flying out of Korea on September 2, heading first for Richmond. The plan is to spend a month to six weeks with family and friends in Virginia, and then to fly to Texas to spend time with Jody's family and friends - in Pampa and also hopefully in Austin. After that, our plan is to head to Denver for Jody to start seminary.

The Lord has been incredibly gracious to Jo and me in that both our bosses responded well to our decision to leave. My boss, Mrs. Kim has been a rock of support throughout it all. But the real surprise was the peaceful response from Jody's bosses. They have not always dealt Jody a fair hand, so we were uncertain how they would receive our decision.

Another blessing has come in the form of friends, John and Soyon. Soyon is a wonderful Korean friend who has grown up in international circles as the daughter of Korean missionaries in Nigeria. She attended college in the US and thereafter came to Korea. I actually phone interviewed her to take my position at ERC two years ago (summer 2006) while I was here in Korea and she was still back in California finishing up her degree! But when I felt God calling me to stay at ERC, I had to email her and tell her that the position was not open after all. Then, randomly, I met her for the first time last November at Life Church, our international church that meets in Suwon!

What makes Soyon's reappearance in my life so funny is that a job opportunity opened up at ERC this summer, and I offered it to Soyon. She accepted the position and is actually transitioning into teaching MY advanced Step 3 program as I prepare to leave! Now I see God's hand in our paths crossing once again. I am so thankful for a God who knits His peoples' lives together.

It gets even better. John and Soyon will be getting married August 30, and as Soyon is taking over my job, I thought it even better if she and John could move into our apartment after they return from their honeymoon. Jody and I will have already left for home, and there will be a fully furnished apartment with all basic needs taken care of for them when they return! It works out the best for everyone: Jo and me, John and Soyon, and Mrs. Kim, who will not need to prepare another apartment for a new foreign teacher. God is GOOD!

As the countdown begins until Jody and I fly out, there is a ridiculous amount of work left to be done. As of today, we must box and ship things via boat to Texas, since we cannot fit everything into our suitcases. I must finish the curriculum for On the Banks of Plum Creek. I will be hosting a bridal shower for Soyon on the 16th. I will also be coordinating her wedding on the 30th. And since my voice has partially returned, I have begun teaching the Step 3 class again, so that Soyon can observe me and take it over. Hopefully soon. I'm exhausted! And while all this is going on for me, Jody is in the busy month of intensives at his school, working split shifts. He's pretty pooped, too.

We love and miss everyone at home. Please pray for strength and energy so that we can finish our time in Korea well.

Also, if you will be in Richmond or nearby in September and part of October, let us know! We'd love to see you!