The Been Briefing

a little R&R, $1 bananas and mail-delivered groceries

in a life of grace there are those days where we enjoy the grace of the Lord, and then there are those days where we endure life by that same grace. i heard that on a CD i listened to this weekend. last week was an "enduring" week which i almost didn't survive. on sunday emily said i was stressed to the max and exhausted. i realized that it must be so, by the terrible attitude i had and the dreadful complaints coming out of my mouth. as my mom would say, i woke up on the wrong side of the bed... every day last week. i should not have been in anyone's company in that foul mood. but with 5 days vacation under my belt i am beginning to feel slightly human again and more able to brush aside the cultural differences. the knowledge of going home in 3 weeks hasn't helped, i confess.

a good portion of that recovery time was spent in seoul with daniel and emily. we had a picnic lunch in the mountains and went hiking. we watched cars, and emily and i exchanged back massages and talked late into the night. romania is always part of the conversation. we went to the doctors for me to get some medicine to kick this upper respiratory infection. good friends take you to the doctor when you're sick, i have decided. b/c, i mean, who wants to go to the doctor's just for the fun of it? we went to this cool place called T-Space in seoul, which was a coffee / art place. AMAZING. looking at the artwork, drinking the most glorious cappuccino, listening to the ecclectic music, and browsing through fashion magazines (a strange combo, i know) and laughing at models' funny outfits with emily did wonders for my bruised spirit. i also attribute it to laura listening to me bawl over the phone for a good hour and pray for me. and then she lent me that sermon on CD that i mentioned earlier, in which some guy (aussie? british? couldn't tell which) reminded me that God is GOOD. He's good. He's GOOD. all the time. everywhere. in all circumstances, He is GOOD... He can't be anything other than GOOD because that's His nature. and He never changes. He's always the same. and He's calling us to the desert places to woo us and love on us and show us His nature like He could never show in the places of abundance. i think i listened to the 20 minute message about 4 times sunday night, and i'll probably listen to it 4 times more. as laura said, "even though you feel like you've learned this lesson a million times already and you feel like you're backtracking, this is what it's all about. it's FAITH. this is our struggle." to trust the Lord's heart and His goodness, even when the grace seems to have stopped flowing.

and then there was my trip to lotte mart yesterday. for those of you who have a car, you just run outside, turn the key into the ignition and run up to the store to grab groceries. no problem, eh? well, like it or not, my trips to lotte mart are a little more involved. the store is just 10 minutes away - walking - but i have to factor in carrying those bags back... or sucking it up and paying w650 for the bus. and i still have to carry them from the bus stop to my apartment. not only that, but there is the constant knot in the pit of my stomach while shopping, knowing if i need help more than likely NO ONE will understand me. but yesterday God decided to bless me with evidences of His grace and kindness, which i know i never can or will deserve. these are gifts... good things from the Lord's hand that i will never be able to merit. i am finding greater and greater freedom in that knowledge.

unlike back in the states, where you just bag your fruit/veggies and the cashiers up front price them, here we have full-time fruit and veggie pricers who weigh the food and put price stickers on it. well, i seem to have acquired an admiring fruit pricer who is bold enough to speak english with me. he's so great! shy but direct... so yesterday he walked up beside me and said, "ahh. not see you long time!" he then proceeded to show me all the good deals and tell me if i buy this or that, he will give me a discount. five minutes later, i had a bag of about 12 bananas for the price of a $1 and a bag of tangerines for half price (w1800).

humbled, i paid for my groceries and left... i did opt for the bus, since it was sweltering hot.

and then as i'm walking back to my apartment laden with my 2 bags, i see the mailman on his moped. now this mailman has delivered letters and packages to my apartment over the past year, so he knows my face and my address. i often see him driving around delivering mail as i'm walking to work, and we always share a huge smile. he's one of the few koreans who smiles at me and we have this wonderful connection that is totally wordless. so yesterday he stops beside me as i'm walking home from the store and gestures for me to put my bags in his mail bag/box behind him. he then proceeds to speed on to my apartment (as i jog behind...) and leaves my groceries at my door.

the kindness of everyone towards me recently has reminded me of the wonderful position weakness can be. living in korea and operating alone requires constant strength, but i have been reminded lately that only when i am operating in my own strength do i run out of power. and when i'm exhausted and frustrated and feeling defeat like never before, the Lord comes up beside me and takes me hiking, listens to me bawl for an hour, sits with me as i drink my cappuccino, offers me $1 bananas, and carries my groceries home.