this afternoon at church, as everyone in our international group sat around jja-jja-myung (korean/chinese noodles) and pizza school pizza, we shared the challenges of this past week and prayed for one another.
it seems the Lord has brought us all to this church to be trained, and while it may be uncomfortable and challenging, we are in complete agreement that it is good... we can all see the work of God in each other and tell one another that the Lord is doing great things, but individually we all acknowledge that to be broken on the Potter's wheel is no comfortable thing.
not only that, but we were also marveling at how it seems every week now the pastor is preaching exactly what we need to hear. you know how it is... you sit down, you enter into worship, and then when he starts to get into the Word, that convicting word hits you- right where the Lord was working in you earlier in the week (or all week long). in fact, right where you were struggling with majorly two days ago. and he lists a few Scripture verses. how did he know that the Holy Spirit was already working on that area? and man, does it dig in deep. it sticks, too - all week long. and the meaning of c.s. lewis' name for God - the Hound of Heaven - resonates at a whole new level. when i sense Him closing in, i realize it is His love that is constraining me, drawing me, moving me, changing me. and while i struggle to regain some sense of self and control over "me", i realize that His love is trying to conform me to His will and the likeness of His Son. the process moves more quickly when i don't fight Him. note that, ruth. stop fighting. stop wrestling like jacob. surrender is a good place to be.
as i think about getting up tomorrow morning and starting a whole new week at work, i am thinking about how teaching is my job and yet how much smaller it has become in my life here. yes, i came to korea to teach english. and it is His plan for me to work with the children and to be faithful in my job and commitment to my boss, coworkers and students. they are my ministry, and i love them deeply. yet, God has brought such richness to my life outside of work that i am having to learn a whole new level of balance. the individuals He has placed in my life have become so dear to me that i know i am called to love them, as well. so the dance continues.
and then there's germany. i'm going to germany in 3 weeks, and i can hardly believe it. it has been 7 years since i've been there, and again it will only be for a week. still, i am starting to shift my focus towards it and pray for God to have His way throughout it all- from small things like being able to sleep on the plane so i don't have major jetlag to an increased ability to discern the Lord's voice and to gain more of a sense of His plan and calling for me and how germany fits into it all.
the word that clinches it all for me right now is this: since the Word of God is living and active (heb. 4,12), it will change me. and if i am humble, i can and will receive it. and i will be changed.
may we have open ears and hearts to hear, receive, and be changed by the Father.
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