As I step outside of myself and look at this season in my life, I can see that God is up to something... something big... inside of me.
When Jody and I left Korea two years ago, we launched out in faith, trusting that God had something big for us. We left our jobs, breaking our contracts at our English schools, sending boxes to Virginia and boxes to Texas, telling everyone that Jody was going to Denver Seminary. He hadn't even applied yet!! We said good-bye to our wonderful friends in Korea. We lived with my family in Virginia for 2 months, cleaning out my grandmother's home and catching up with the Clementson family. Then we flew to Texas, where we spent time with the Been family, helped the Andrews' family move and waited for the spring semester to start.
We truly had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. If we had, I'm sure we probably wouldn't have launched out into the unknown. Seminary and life in Colorado has definitely been a journey. It has taken us to three different "homes", drained our hefty bank account of everything (and then some), forced us to our knees, challenged our marriage and forced us to pay more attention to our health than we have ever before.
Jody has physically gotten hurt in the past two years than ever before. First it was his knee, then it was his shoulder, then his finger. Recently it has been his ribs. Why? I have absolutely no idea.
I have also had a myriad of health issues. One has been the discovery of hypothyroidism. Apparently it is something Grandma Etta had, as well as something both Grammy and Grandy struggle with. So, it's genetic. But beyond that, I discovered the type of hypothyroidism that I struggle with is called 'Hashimoto's thyroiditis'. What the heck is that, you ask? Well, it basically means my immune system has turned on my thyroid gland and - not recognizing it - attacks. What is the real kicker is this: since the thyroid is under attack, it is inflamed. Well, there's this nerve called the laryngeal nerve that is wrapped around the thyroid gland, and when the thyroid is inflamed, it pinches that nerve... thus causing chronic laryngitis. Let me tell you, when I found this out, there was much rejoicing. Now I know why I have struggled with this issue for so long. God is truly good. In the midst of the struggle, God is good. I have also discovered that my hormones are all out of whack, which - for a woman - is a VERY big issue. :) It has launched me on a journey of discovery about myself, my body and my faith in God.
Through it all, I feel like the Lord is working in me in the area of control. I think I have a problem with it. I don't like not having control of my life. I have always been a hard worker, and I think I always thought that if I work hard enough, do everything just right, A plus B will always equal C. But it's not always working out that way.
When Jody and I left Korea two years ago, we launched out in faith, trusting that God had something big for us. We left our jobs, breaking our contracts at our English schools, sending boxes to Virginia and boxes to Texas, telling everyone that Jody was going to Denver Seminary. He hadn't even applied yet!! We said good-bye to our wonderful friends in Korea. We lived with my family in Virginia for 2 months, cleaning out my grandmother's home and catching up with the Clementson family. Then we flew to Texas, where we spent time with the Been family, helped the Andrews' family move and waited for the spring semester to start.
We truly had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. If we had, I'm sure we probably wouldn't have launched out into the unknown. Seminary and life in Colorado has definitely been a journey. It has taken us to three different "homes", drained our hefty bank account of everything (and then some), forced us to our knees, challenged our marriage and forced us to pay more attention to our health than we have ever before.
Jody has physically gotten hurt in the past two years than ever before. First it was his knee, then it was his shoulder, then his finger. Recently it has been his ribs. Why? I have absolutely no idea.
I have also had a myriad of health issues. One has been the discovery of hypothyroidism. Apparently it is something Grandma Etta had, as well as something both Grammy and Grandy struggle with. So, it's genetic. But beyond that, I discovered the type of hypothyroidism that I struggle with is called 'Hashimoto's thyroiditis'. What the heck is that, you ask? Well, it basically means my immune system has turned on my thyroid gland and - not recognizing it - attacks. What is the real kicker is this: since the thyroid is under attack, it is inflamed. Well, there's this nerve called the laryngeal nerve that is wrapped around the thyroid gland, and when the thyroid is inflamed, it pinches that nerve... thus causing chronic laryngitis. Let me tell you, when I found this out, there was much rejoicing. Now I know why I have struggled with this issue for so long. God is truly good. In the midst of the struggle, God is good. I have also discovered that my hormones are all out of whack, which - for a woman - is a VERY big issue. :) It has launched me on a journey of discovery about myself, my body and my faith in God.
Through it all, I feel like the Lord is working in me in the area of control. I think I have a problem with it. I don't like not having control of my life. I have always been a hard worker, and I think I always thought that if I work hard enough, do everything just right, A plus B will always equal C. But it's not always working out that way.
And so, I'm having to let go. I'm having to trust that God is good. I'm having to praise Him and let go and trust that His love is more than enough to sustain me no matter what. It is in times like these that Jesus Culture's song 'Your Love Never Fails' is especially true. I hope it leads you to the throne room like it does for me.
Your Love Never Fails
Nothing can separate
Even if I ran away
Your love never fails
I know I still make mistakes
But You have new mercies for me everyday
Your love never fails
Chorus:
You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There maybe pain in the night but joy comes in the morning
And when the oceans rage
I don't have to be afraid
Because I know that You love me
Your love never fails
Verse 2:
The wind is strong and the water's deep
But I'm not alone in these open seas
Cause Your love never fails
The chasm is far too wide
I never thought I'd reach the other side
But Your love never fails
Bridge:
You make all things work together for my good
Even if I ran away
Your love never fails
I know I still make mistakes
But You have new mercies for me everyday
Your love never fails
Chorus:
You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There maybe pain in the night but joy comes in the morning
And when the oceans rage
I don't have to be afraid
Because I know that You love me
Your love never fails
Verse 2:
The wind is strong and the water's deep
But I'm not alone in these open seas
Cause Your love never fails
The chasm is far too wide
I never thought I'd reach the other side
But Your love never fails
Bridge:
You make all things work together for my good
1 comment:
ruthie, i can so identify with where you guys are at and even though it looks different in my life- the process is often similar. may God continue to give you the courage and faith to let it all go! it's the best way :)
p.s. i love the jesus culture song!!
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